It has an overwrought floral and citrus aroma that evokes drugstore perfume, and it tastes roughly the same. And for about $14, you haven't got any reason not to indulge. It smells like 82-octane gasoline and tastes like a year-old shower-curtain liner that’s been repurposed as a Slip’N Slide slicked down with water from a YMCA swimming pool. But vodka has uses far beyond simply riling up the joyless prigs who pretend to prefer chartreuse. As a beverage, it’s perfectly unobtrusive, and therefore the ideal alcohol for bloody or otherwise busy drinks. Vodka in Amerika. Along with their characteristics, they also have cocktail recipes tailored with various flavors that assures a burst of flavors. With a slight hint of lemon, the flavor of this vodka is supposed to be subtle. Round 1: Crown Russe. If three words could define college, they would be: cheap, shitty alcohol. There’s no burn to speak of, and now I get why my pal Nadir drinks it by the gallon. Titoâs. Vodka: Bad news, âItâs clear so it must be healthierâ people: Vodka is way down at number seven. My roommates begged for me to let them free. And vodka makes up about 29% of the total spirits sold around the world in ⦠It remains a top choice for many drinkers and offers excellent versatility in cocktails. In the year 2014, Smirnoff was recognized as the best-selling vodka brand in the world. This is allegedly distilled entirely from wheat and rye, although I’d swear they snuck a bit of wet dog fur in there, too. A lower quality vodka is going to have a taste that is a bit hard to stomach and is going to burn like crazy going down. According to this experiment, Pinnacle is the shittiest of the shittiest at a slightly more expensive price. And that same simplicity helps it play a crucial supporting role in stripped-down classics like the Cranberry Juice and Ice. They boldly claimed to have just consumed Crown Russe. Moments before beginning our experiment, Rhianna attempted to “slap the bag” for the first time in her life (she’s a senior… where has she been?). There are some good cheap vodka brands use grains to distill their spirits while other top inexpensive vodkas use potatoes. What's the difference between vanilla vodka and frosting-flavored vodka? By Lauren Hubbard. They must take the shot that I hand them, and then write down which vodka they believe it is. The following ranking is based strictly on taste, as determined by me alone at my desk one night last week. Which vodka do you think is the shittiest of the shittiest? But a clean, well-behaved dog, at least. The brand still honors the juniper- and citrus-forward recipe that James Burrough developed when he started distilling the spirit in London in the 1800s. Can you tell the difference between the shittiest of shitty vodkas? Without it, and other botanicals, youâre basically drinking vodka. 10. 4. Rheingold is one of the least hoppy beers I can remember tasting, and the nicest thing I can say about it is that the lack of balance makes it distinct. Red Berry is one of the originals in the portfolio, and the coconut vodka rivals that from top-shelf brands. Titoâs Vodka is a corn-based spirit made by the premier craft distillery in Texas. Stoli is fairly bland beyond a slight black pepper kick (delivered by aforementioned dog). Vodka brands are experimenting more than ever with how theyâre making it, as well as infusing and distilling their spirits with unique flavors. The staple of every Penn State student’s freshman year…. The brand's flavored vodka line is filled with fun and tasty finds. Despite the fact that Titoâs recently overtook Smirnoff for the American crown, the ubiquitous brand remains the worldâs number one. Diageo. To find the best vodka brands at every price, VinePair tasted dozens of spirits from different countries and base grains. However, in that moment of desperation, she pleaded, “Please don’t make me take this. Yes, I wanted Diddy Juice to finish last, but what can you do? Because of the familyâs association with the royal court of Tsar Alexander III, Vladimir Smirnov fled ⦠Americans drink more vodka than any other spirit, although whiskey has been gaining ground in recent years. But it turns out that the vodka, while not as good as the ads, isn’t bad, either. The other is the inclusion of juniper in the distilling process. Gone are the days when every coffee table in America was littered with a dozen back-cover magazine ads for what one can only assume was the preferred spirit of the era’s most famous beer-loving bikini team. The Best Vodka Brands ⦠Cupcake Frosting Vodka. Vodka makes learning fun. I realized taking straight shots of shitty vodka might be traumatizing enough, so instead of blindfolding Rhianna, Meghan, and Vince (yes that was my original plan…), I had them sit on the couch in our living room, while I prepared them shots from the kitchen. I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room to hand my roommates their third round of shots. The Worldwide Vodka Market. I kindly nominated myself to be the sober host of this little experiment while three brave souls agreed to (were tricked into) being the test subjects. Vodka also serves as a silently fortifying backdrop that allows you to explore all the exotic new juices, extracts, and bitters on the market these days. I assumed they would fall into two categories: more like water (good!) Graduate (Poland, not sold at BevMo, retails for around $10). The brand name derives from the well-known Moscow-based Smirnov family. They are reliable, reasonably priced, and appear on nearly every liquor store shelf and back bar across the globe. Branding can have a huge impact on how you feel about a particular bottle of vodka. It originates from Poland and Russia and actually means 'water' as it derives from the Russian word 'voda.' She embarrassingly failed managing to slap it completely out of Meghan’s hands and onto the floor before getting a taste of Franzia on her tongue. Perhaps the biggest success story in all of American vodka is that of Tito Beveridge, who despite his perfect name for the craft, took a circuitous route to distillation. This one could be a shot to my credibility, because there’s decent reason to believe Cossack is the exact same vodka as Ruble: They both come from Allen’s Ltd., of beautiful Somerville, Mass., and they appeal to the same client base. Probably not the most hyped-up brand, Three Olives is a unique vodka from England that comes in a super-cool flavor, Loopy, which basically tastes like Fruity Pebbles. After revealing these results to my subjects, Vince daringly admitted, “Vlad wasn’t that bad.”. All vodka must be a minimum of 37.5% alcohol to be considered vodka by European standards, but most traditional vodkas are 40% alcohol (AKA - 80 proof). Itâs zesty, sweet and spicy. Then, Rhianna tried to reason with me. From bloody marys to classic martinis and cosmos, these are the best vodkas to stock your bar with. In fact, the most popular spirit consumed in the United States is not whiskey, but vodka. And in their defense, it’s tempting to dismiss a clear, largely odorless and flavorless liquor as fit for nothing more than making teens drunk and rappers rich, and I confess that, for all my populist posturing, I don’t drink a ton of the stuff. Here are 15 great vodka makers to try. They began to flail their arms around while yelling in disgust at the repugnance that just slid down all of their throats. Rheingold Lager (let's assume its adherents call it Rheiny) has a cool name, a cool label, a cool back story, and a terrible flavor. All three of them were still traumatized from what they thought was Vlad and begged me not to make them continue. Best Vodka Brands: The Best of the Best The drink of choice for many, vodka has been around for centuries. Their wide array of flavors ranging from Apple, Red Berry, French Vanilla, Mango, Pineapple, Peach, Coconut and Summer Colada. Ketel One, made from wheat, has essentially no aroma leading into its soft, fruity flavor. Americans drink more vodka than any other spirit, although whiskey has been gaining ground in recent years. Update to privacy policy and how we use cookies Not undrinkable, but a bit of an underachiever, even at this light price. And there’s some truth to that, but not as much as I’d expected when I set out to do this blind taste test. While there are many vodkas to explore, a few vodka brands have risen to the top. 8. These are the world's best vodka brands. Vodka is arguably the most popular liquor in the bar. Their OG flavor has subtle hints of buttercream and mint, so this is the perfect vodka for those with a sweet tooth. They all looked at me with more disgusted faces, courageously took the shot, and collectively agreed, “Wow. Will Gordon loves life and tolerates dissent. But to no avail, I poured them each one more shot. Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise. I figured I’d throw a couple of bottom-shelf rotgut numbers in here to see if they could somehow shock the world; Ruble was not up for the challenge. This corn-bred Texan export wins all sorts of awards, which seems fair enough. Per our updated privacy policy, we use cookies to track your browsing behavior on our site and provide you with ads or other offers that may be relevant to you. More of the gasoline-scented bathroom plastic, but not quite as ferocious as the Ruble. So which cheap vodka wins the title as the “shittiest of the shittiest?”. The first domestically produced vodka in the United States was Smirnoff. The begging to stop continued until I told them to take their final shot. Round 2: Pinnacle. I’m begging.” Then continued, “I’ll slap the bag instead.”. The offerings have expanded greatly, so if you're looking for apple, citrus, mango, peach, pineapple, or watermelon vodka, New Amsterdam has ⦠It turns out there’s more variation that that. Once sold for $3,000 a bottle, this now discontinued Stoli vodka is worth over $5,000. It smells like sweet musty corn, and the flavor is so sweet as to be almost fruity. Since vodka is about 60% water, this brand is especially known for using high-quality water in its products, which does contribute to the price. By using our site, you agree to these terms. If you drink vodka, it’s absolutely worth your while to try several of them in a controlled setting—the cemetery at the edge of town on a moonless night, say, or your kitchen table—and figure out which one offers the right combination of flavor and price to fulfill your particular liver’s needs. This nasty bastard greets your nose with a blast of lemon-scented battery acid, then turns sour and rancid on your tongue. Best for Martinis. This wheat variety debuted internationally as one of the classic “advertising in a bottle” brands of the 1980s, which could account for its recent sales decline. Vodka serves a lot of purposes for the enlightened booze bag, myself included. Crown Russe came in third. But vodka has uses far beyond simply riling up the joyless prigs who pretend to prefer chartreuse. I must once and for all answer such a critical college question: which is…the shittiest of the shittiest? This is one of the brands popular among the friends I run into as soon as the liquor store finally opens at the dot of noon every Sunday. Itâs got a mix of green mint, citrus and sweet pea flavors with just a hint of white pepper on the tongue for the finish. A bit of lemon, a lesser bit of pine. Dump a couple shots of decent vodka into a cup of seltzer, add a few drops of mole-artichoke tincture, and voila, you now have a better understanding of your weird specialty ingredient, plus a li’l bit of a buzz for your efforts! We decided to do a little experiment I like to call, “Guess the shittiest of the shittiest.” The shittiest being the shittiest vodka. New Amsterdam is clean and smooth and nothing special, but worth the price. and less like water (bad!). Also, 93 percent of corn planted in the U.S. is genetically modified, so look for bourbon brands that have âdistilled using 100 percent non-GMO cornâ on the label.â 7. It’s corn-based, quadruple-distilled, filtered through fuckin’ diamonds, costs more than 100 socks, and isn’t particularly good. Svedka received the second strongest reaction. I let each of them know ahead of time that there will be four rounds and each round will consist of either: Vladimir, Crown Russe, Pinnacle or Svedka. If you're a lover of this Russian alcohol, you're probably on the hunt for a good vodka brand as your go-to. And Vlad was… wait for it… the EASIEST of the four shots to take. Rhianna and Meghan (my two roommates) and Vince (Rhianna’s boyfriend) courageously (naively) gave consent. I quickly formed enemies. He lives in Cambridge, Mass., and has visited all of the other New England states, including, come to think of it, Vermont. Round 3: Svedka. The perception that it’s all largely the same is another reason vodka isn’t as beloved by booze talkers, writers, mixers, and rankers as it is by drinkers. 13. The Best Vodka Brands to Stock Your Bar Cart With. Not much good, nothing bad, and cheaper than most of the stuff here. Despiteâeh, who are we kidding, because ofâits mass appeal, vodka is disdained by most cocktail snobs, which is reason enough to celebrate its continued prominence. The disgusted looks on their faces grew permanent as they tried to force this poison into their bodies. This vodka brand comes from Japanâs most famous whiskey manufacturers who make it clean, crisp and one of the best vodka brands available. I tasted all of the vodkas blind in waves of three or so at a time. After downing it like champs, they all came to the same conclusion that, “it wasn’t particularly awful.”, They all unanimously voted the Crown Russe as Svedka, Because we needed an excuse to finally finish the bottle that’s been chilling on our bar…, As I handed them each the second shot, Vince looked over at me to ask, “Can I have water to clean my pallet?”, However, instead of having water, they all decided it would be a great idea to chase the shitty vodka down with some good ol’ shitty Franzia…, (Drinking Franzia out of a straw as a chaser…If that’s your strategy to survive this, good luck! It’s clean and slightly grassy, with just that pleasant herbal note differentiating it from 80-proof spring water. This is Dan Aykroyd’s high-end Canadian joint. 1. It smells a bit more like nail polish remover than I typically care for in my foodstuffs, and it makes a harsh, oily impression that disqualifies it from all but the lightest duty (i.e., Jell-O shots). SMOOTHEST. Prices are for 80-proof, 750-milliliter bottles at BevMo. Top 10 Best Vodka Brands â 2021. These are the best cheap vodka brands, ranked from best to worst by user votes. That being said, there is a lot of bad vodka out there. DMARGE - The Playbook For The Modern Man. It dominates the vodka market and at the end of the fiscal year, 2017, showed a development of 2% from last year to register its sales figures at 26.0 million cases.. Smirnoff is a Russian origin vodka brand that was introduced in the year 1860s in Moscow by its founder Pyotr Arsenievich Smirnov. 10. Owned by renowned designer Leon Verres, Billionaire Vodka is the most expensive vodka brand in the world. A behind-the-bar favorite, this 100% rye vodka has more going for it than just its price. Microdistilled in small batches in Austin, Texas, for a super crisp and clean finish, Tito's can certainly go toe-to-toe with any luxury vodka. However, there is a relatively new brand Polish Vodka called KU:L Vodka. Some of these may be hotter than some of the more high-end brands and in the long run may not be worth the savings. The stereotype that bad vodka gives you headaches is true in some cases because itâs made with many impurities. I like England and I like wheat, but I do not care much for this English wheat vodka. Whether you're taking shots or making a mixed drink, you can never go wrong with a bottle of vodka. Rhianna, Meghan and Vince cheersed to their first shot. There are expensive name brands out there that are pricey, but their taste is on the level of something you could find at your corner bodega. Cool skull-shaped bottle, true, but not cooler than 95 socks and a bottle of Cossack. To view our privacy policy in full, click here. Vodka consumption and production is no longer confined to the countries of the vodka belt. Until then, just do as I say. Gin is a strong liquor. New Amsterdam Straight Gin. Despite—eh, who are we kidding, because of—its mass appeal, vodka is disdained by most cocktail snobs, which is reason enough to celebrate its continued prominence. Vodka - like whisky, rum and brandy â is a staple for anyone who wants to take their home bar seriously. Cossack (USA; not sold at BevMo, retails for around $7). But for whatever reason, I found the Cossack to be better, and in fact almost downright pleasant, with a slightly creamy, corny character that evoked nice moonshine. In some places, vodka is even akin to a national beverage. See our full list of the 20 best vodkas for 2020 now! There is not enough money in the worldâ¦. Damn, Diddy got me! Rhianna, Meghan and Vince cheersed to their first shot. Find him on Twitter @WillGordonAgain. According to Cupcake... 2. A few of the best inexpensive vodka brands are perfectly delicious when consumed neat, and others are more suited to be great with mixers. That’s just because I really like whiskey and gin, though. So, you might want to bite your tongue next time you think about giving your friend crap about ordering a gin-and-tonic, while you throw back your shot of Fireball. This French wheat-based vodka opens with a pretty mean aroma, but that burns off quickly to leave a soft and fine flavor that shows a bit of light lemon and not much else. It has a somewhat earthy, sweaty aroma, but the flavor is clean and refreshing and agreeably mild. 14. Before taking the final shot, Rhianna decided to switch cups with Vince because she, “wanted the one with less.”. The most ubiquitous vodka brand in the United States, Tito's is the best vodka to keep stocked up at home for any sipping occasion. They asked if they can do process of elimination to guess which vodka the last one is. This is a list of brands of vodka.Vodka is a distilled beverage composed primarily of water and ethanol, sometimes with traces of impurities and flavorings.Vodka is made by the distillation of fermented substances such as grains, potatoes, or sometimes fruits or sugar.The classic preparation is performed using grain or potatoes, The grains or potatoes based vodka has a neutral flavor profile. See the list of the 15 best vodkas for 2019 now! Cîroc, unlike most vodka brands, is made with French grapes. 13. Seagram's Peach Tea Flavored Vodka. Sobieski Vodka A budget brand from Poland has got to be good. We tasted dozens of vodka brands to find the best vodka bottles for every budget. But, that said, it’ll do. Ruble (USA; not sold at BevMo, retails for about $7). I really wanted this to do poorly, so I could convince him to shop more frugally, but this is absolutely worth the dedicated vodka drinker’s dough. The Rankings: All 10 Gins, Ranked From Worst to Best. 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